On Being Cerberus

It's terrible having three heads and only
one belly.
It's terrible standing watch underground.
The noxious fumes that rise from
the river Styx are terrible.
The pollutants and mutagens down here
are equally as terrible.
It's terrible listening to those rusty gates
of Hades open and close.
It's terrible looking at the sullen and unenviable
expressions of the dead.
The bone selection down here is terrible,
even though this is an unmitigated bone kingdom.
Persephone's caterwaul is terrible.
Charon's navigation skills are terrible.
That giant Typhon, our father, is terrible
(and a bloody menace).
Echidna, our mother, is terrible in a
serpentine and beautiful way.
Everything imaginable in this godless place
is terrible.
Everything except the intermittent head-petting.
That we like.